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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28484904">Keepsakes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magentas_Nightmare/pseuds/Magentas_Nightmare'>Magentas_Nightmare</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Walking Dead &amp; Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Acceptance, F/M, Hoarding, Intense attraction;), Mental Illness, Who could resist Merle Dixon? Am I right?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:20:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,941</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28484904</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magentas_Nightmare/pseuds/Magentas_Nightmare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Merle has a problem that, until now, nobody has known about. When his brother, Daryl, moves back to town it's clear that Merle hasn't been able to let go of the family he lost years ago. This requires a professional...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Andrea/Merle Dixon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Keepsakes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Again, posting this story all at once (see Bad Company notes for the whole explanation)<br/>I also have a longer story to post before Jan.4th that's about 11 chapters long and I will be posting that as well in one part if it fits although it may take 2 parts to post it all. <br/>Thanks, Teagan xo</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>
      <strong>Really good songs that are in this story:</strong>
    </em>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <em>
      <strong>
        <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-5mcoaPc_U">Closer - YouTube</a>
      </strong>
    </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>
      <strong>
        <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pi6pLTrx94Q">Hozier - NFWMB (Official Audio) - YouTube</a>
      </strong>
    </em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <span class="u">
    <strong>Keepsakes</strong>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <strong>Chapter One</strong>
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“Hello, this is Everything in Order Home Organizing, Andrea Harrison speaking.”</p><p>“Hi, I don't know if I'm calling the right place but I have a brother who needs some help.”</p><p>“Of course, sir. Is this a hoarding problem or just an issue of regular home organization?”</p><p>“Yeah, I mean, he would never call it hoarding but it definitely is. According to him, he's a collector but it's way beyond that. I just moved back to town and I didn't know it had gotten this bad.”</p><p>“Is he open to having anyone come to the home to help?”</p><p>“He's pretty stubborn, but his landlord spoke to me and he's at risk of eviction if he doesn't part with some of his stuff...I don't know how to help him.”</p><p>“I work in home organizing, but I'm also a therapist who has worked with many hoarders. I've dealt with this type of problem many times and I'm more than willing to see if I can help.”</p><p>“His place is full of boxes...it's kinda hard to get around.”</p><p>“I've seen it all and I'm not worried about that. This kind of thing doesn't happen overnight and it doesn't happen for no reason. We will get to the bottom of it and sort it all out."</p><p>“Yeah...he had a pretty serious drinking problem a few years back and lost his family. He's been hanging onto everything ever since and he needs to stop. He's a good man, but he has some personal issues. I just don't want to see him on the street. You might be his last hope.”</p><p>“Does he know you're speaking to me?”</p><p>“Yeah, and he's skeptical, but he said he'd have you in to take a look tomorrow if you're willing.”</p><p>“I'd be more than happy to. What's his name?”</p><p>“Merle Dixon.”</p><p>“Sure, I can stop by tomorrow at 10 am,”</p><p>“He can be a little...”</p><p>“No worries. I've dealt with this before. I'll call you if there are any issues I need help with. If he allows us to do some clean up then we can speak more about it. I'll just need his address.”</p><p>“Thanks a lot. Like I said, he's a good man, he just needs some help to get moving again.”</p><p>“It's no problem.”</p><p>/</p><p>Andrea walked up the path to Merle Dixon's door on Chapel Street on a sunny Tuesday afternoon in March. She had seen hoarding issues so many times and she felt incredible compassion for people who struggled with this mental illness. It so often came out of human suffering and trauma and she was lucky to have helped a lot of people get out of the hole.</p><p>She made it to his front door at 10 am sharp and rang the doorbell.</p><p>The door opened, but only part way. She could see a man who appeared to be around her own age. He seemed apprehensive to look right at her.</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>“Hi there, I'm Andrea Harrison. I spoke to your brother about perhaps doing some organizing in your home?”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“He didn't speak to you about me?” she frowned.</p><p>“He did, but it's not really a great time.”</p><p>This was common. Many hoarders hadn't had anyone new in their homes in months or even years.</p><p>“Please, Mr. Dixon. I don't mind at all if you haven't had a moment to tidy up or anything. I just want to chat.”</p><p>“OK...I guess so.”</p><p>She could see very quickly that his issue was with car parts and beer bottles. There were boxes that reached the ceiling filled with endless beer bottles, easily hundreds of them. He also had numerous sheets of newspaper splayed out with car parts in different states of disassembly. He had a beautiful midnight blue Dodge Challenger in the driveway and evidently loved doing mechanic work.</p><p>There was nowhere to walk and nowhere to sit. She wondered where he'd been when she came to the door. She found it to be a shame that a man his age was having these problems, he looked like he should be happily married with a few kids. Andrea could see that he was strong, the bulging muscles of his arms were hard to miss in his plain white t-shirt. Merle was handsome in a rugged, man's man kind of way that she was especially interested in but she pushed those thoughts away to get down to the business of helping him get his life back.</p><p>“I see you're a collector,” she smiled.</p><p>“Yeah, kinda. So you clean up houses for a living?” he asked.</p><p>“Sort of. What I do is come in and help organize homes to see what can be moved to free space and what should stay to bring happiness in the home.”</p><p>“It's my brother that wants to throw my stuff away, not me.”</p><p>“I am not here to throw anything away that you want to keep.”</p><p>“Then this won't take long. I don't want to throw anything away.”</p><p>“Do you live alone, Mr. Dixon?”</p><p>“Been alone five years and I don't see that changing.”</p><p>“I don't mean to intrude but your brother mentioned that your landlord is giving you some grief.”</p><p>“He told you that?” Merle grumbled.</p><p>“I can help. I'm a professional organizer and therapist who works with people such as yourself.”</p><p>“Hopeless pack rats?” he scoffed. “Why do you even bother?"</p><p>“It's a common condition, to hold onto items, and it can be treated.”</p><p>“You throw everything away or else they'll throw me in a looney bin, huh?”</p><p>She could tell that he was sensitive about his home and his illness and that was common.</p><p>“Merle, I have seen this a lot and I'm not judging you. I really just want to help. Many people who live in homes like yours have been through some pretty tough situations.”</p><p>“What did he tell you?” Merle shot back as if his privacy had been invaded and she contemplated lying but she needed to establish trust if she was going to help him.</p><p>“He mentioned that you had a family and that they are no longer living here due to some substance abuse problems. I know how uncomfortable it can be to have someone you just met know this about your life and I'm so sorry about that. I never asked him to tell me anything about you. He's just trying to help and so am I.”</p><p>“You should go,” he growled.</p><p>A line had been crossed and she wasn't surprised to have him telling her to go. She had been asked to leave on many occasions and also asked to return when people had a chance to think more about it. She hoped he would be in the group that asked her to come back. Merle was still young and could have a good life ahead of him if he dealt with the problem sooner than later.</p><p>“I understand. I'm sorry to have upset you, Mr. Dixon. I'll go.”</p><p>“I don't need help. Tell my brother he can fuck right off spilling my business to strangers.”</p><p>She could see that he was very hurt and felt betrayed and she understood that.</p><p>“Please call if you change your mind. I don't mean any harm to you,” she said as she handed over a business card and walked out of his home.</p><p>/</p><p>“How dare you?” Merle exclaimed.</p><p>“You need help, Merle! What did you say to her?”</p><p>“I told her to go.”</p><p>“She was going to help, you idiot!”</p><p>Daryl had a feeling that he'd do something like this and wished he would stop making everything so hard.</p><p>“I don't need help. Let them throw me out. I don't fuckin' care anymore, Daryl!”</p><p>“You wanna live on the street or something?”</p><p>“You sent this woman to my place who probably thinks I'm dog shit and I'm supposed to be all comfortable with it? She probably thinks I'm an animal, Daryl.”</p><p>“She does this all the time.”</p><p>“Did you even look at her?”</p><p>“No, I just called her on the phone.”</p><p>“The woman looks like a fucking model and she walked into my pit of despair in her heels and dress suit like the place might swallow her alive!”</p><p>“She does this work all the time! She doesn't care what it looks like.”</p><p>“Do you know how much you embarrassed me? You told her that I lost Tammy and Josh? You told her I'm a terrible father and a drunk?”</p><p>“I said you had a drinking problem and lost your family. She needs to know where the hoarding comes from so she can help you. Merle...it's bad. You need help. I wouldn't be pushing this unless I meant it. I love you, man. Stop punishing yourself. You still have Josh's baby stuff for Christ's sake.”</p><p>“Daryl, you don't get it.”</p><p>“Then explain it to me.”</p><p>“I fucked up the most precious thing in the whole world and I can never in a hundred years fix it. My whole life is shit now and it's never gonna get better.”</p><p>Daryl had been gone working out of town for three years and had no idea how much his brother was suffering.</p><p>“I wish you told me it was this bad, Merle. I woulda come back.”</p><p>“So I can drag you down too? Not on your life. Just leave it. There's no reason to make anything better now. My landlord can throw me out and I'll just crash at the shelter...I'll be honest, I don't know how much longer I'm planning to stick around anyway.”</p><p>“Don't say that!”</p><p>“You wanna deal with me for the next 30 years? Just let me go, Daryl.”</p><p>Daryl had a feeling that Merle didn't mean it when he talked like this, it was just a way to get him off his back and it always worked. Merle was never suicidal a day in his life, even when things were at their lowest. Daryl recognized his brother's mind games and didn't really blame him for it. He would definitely use his games against him though.</p><p>“I'm calling the hospital on you if you don't stop talking like that!”</p><p>Daryl heard him sigh on the other end of the phone and he knew something had to give and fast.</p><p>“I'll call her, but keep the hospital out of this. Deal?”</p><p>“Call her and take her help, Merle. You can't just give up like this.”</p><p>“I can, but I can see that you won't let me.”</p><p>“No, I won't. Call her and fix this.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <strong>Chapter Two</strong>
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>“Hello, this is Everything in Order Home Organizing, Andrea Harrison speaking.”</p><p>She recognized Merle's number from the day before and was surprised to have him calling back. There must be hope if he was swallowing his pride and that made her smile.</p><p>“This is Merle...from yesterday?”</p><p>“Right. I'm glad you called.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“I want to help.”</p><p>“I didn't mean to be short with you...this isn't easy for me.”</p><p>“I understand. It's no problem.”</p><p>“I just feel weird about someone coming in and touching things. I have some things that I can't throw away, stuff that belonged to my boy.”</p><p>“Nothing will leave your home without your approval, Mr. Dixon.”</p><p>“How do you deal with the likes of me?”</p><p>“Everyone needs help sometimes, it's nothing to be ashamed of.”</p><p>“Are you soft-hearted?”</p><p>“I like to call it being compassionate.”</p><p>“Soft-hearted,” he asserted.</p><p>“I can be there tomorrow to get started if you're free.”</p><p>“OK, and I promise I won't throw you out again,” he chuckled.</p><p>She was happy to hear him laughing, he would need a sense of humor to get better.</p><p>“It wouldn't be the first time someone told me to go and it won't be the last. It's very intrusive, I understand that. I'm just glad you called back.”</p><p>“Well, I'm sorry for how I acted. It ain't easy to have anyone in here, especially not someone like you."</p><p>She didn't know what he meant by the comment about someone like her, but she decided not to press it.</p><p>“I swear to you that I'm not judging. I sincerely just want to help.”</p><p>“I guess I'll see you tomorrow then.”</p><p>“See you then.”</p><p>/</p><p>Andrea picked up two cups of coffee on the way to Merle's house that morning, she hoped he might appreciate the gesture and let her into his life a little. It wasn't easy to let a stranger come in and see what had been hidden for a long time. She knew how vulnerable it made people feel, but it was necessary to get out of the hole that hoarding kept people stuck in.</p><p>“Hi,” he nodded when he opened the door.</p><p>“Hi there, I picked you up a coffee. Do you drink coffee? Guess I should have checked with you,” she smiled.</p><p>“I drink coffee. Thanks,” he answered.</p><p>He looked like he had been standing by the door in anxious anticipation of her arrival, she would bet money on it. She wanted so badly to put him at ease as she stepped inside his home.</p><p>“This is weird, I know,” she smiled.</p><p>“It's really weird, but I appreciate you coming back. My brother and the landlord aren't gonna let this continue...I know I have to change it now.”</p><p>“You mentioned that there are items that you'd like to keep. Perhaps we can start with the things that are most important to you and you could give me a little tour of the place?”</p><p>“Uh, sure.”</p><p>She followed him up a crowded set of stairs to the second level where there was a bathroom and his bedroom. In many homes where a hoarder lived, even the bathroom would be packed to the point where it couldn't be used. Merle's bathroom and kitchen were strangely spotless. The home itself was clean but cluttered with boxes to the point where it was hard to get around. He opened the door to his bedroom where she could see the depth of his pain. All around his bed were boxes filled with items that had clearly belonged to his son. Boxes and boxes of toys and clothing were piled up almost to the ceiling and they encircled his bed like a prison.</p><p>“I know it's not right, but I feel better with this stuff in here,” he shrugged.</p><p>“I promise that nothing will leave this home without your say so,” she assured him.</p><p>“I should probably part with some of this. I could maybe just keep some of it...things that are special?” he asked as if she might refuse.</p><p>“That actually sounds like a good idea. Everything you've kept seems to be in very good condition, maybe another little boy could benefit from your son's belongings,” she suggested.</p><p>It was a crap toss. Merle would either like the idea of another child using his son's toys and clothes or he would hate it. She rolled the dice.</p><p>“You think so?” he asked.</p><p>“Only if you're comfortable with the idea. This is all up to you. I'm not here to force anything.”</p><p>“He's seven years old now and I only get to see him a few times a year, he doesn't need baby toys anymore.”</p><p>“Would you like to start with this room first since it's the most important?” she asked.</p><p>“OK.”</p><p>“Some people I work with are very afraid that something really important to them will be thrown away and lost forever. To avoid that we can go through these items slowly and carefully to make sure you don't lose anything you want to keep.”</p><p>“You'd do that? You're not in a hurry?” he asked.</p><p>“I'll happily stay until it's all done and your home is the way you want it.”</p><p>Merle seemed happy with the plan and she went down to her van to get some brand new legal boxes for the items he cared about most. He wanted to keep all the photos, a few baby toys, and his son's first pair of shoes and she was very surprised to see that he was willing to part with a lot of the other toys and clothing.</p><p>“I didn't have to face it before, but now that you're here I can see it's not normal.”</p><p>“I can see how being around his things would make you feel better and if nobody is here to see it then it can happen before you even realize it, hey?”</p><p>“Exactly. Daryl moved away so I didn't have anyone in here for three years. When I do see Josh it's always in Atlanta where my ex lives so him and his mom don't even know I live like this.”</p><p>“When it's cleaned up, maybe he could come to stay with you? Is that an option for you?”</p><p>“It could be. Now that I've been sober for three years I could ask Tammy for more custody. She's married again so she probably wouldn't mind some time with just her husband,” he mused.</p><p>“That could be a good motivation,” Andrea smiled.</p><p>“I got so many damned beer bottles though, wish I had a gun,” he sighed.</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“So I could have some fun blowing them to bits,” he chuckled.</p><p>“You could make a killing recycling them, but if you want to shoot some I think I could help you out,” she winked.</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“I have a Colt Python .357 Magnum. It might be therapeutic to take some out to the range.”</p><p>“Are you serious?” he grinned.</p><p>“Yep. I go shooting a couple times a month and I'll happily take you out there for some therapy,” she laughed.</p><p>“I think this is gonna be good.”</p><p>He looked hopeful and excited to get his life back then and she loved her job, she loved helping bring people back from the brink.</p><p>“Me too,” she smiled.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <strong>Chapter Three</strong>
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>Andrea helped Merle find his bed by the end of the day and he let go of many of his son's possessions in the process. He didn't seem to be as far gone as his brother thought, but if he didn't get help now it would likely get worse. Merle was getting help just in the nick of time.</p><p>“Looks good, right?” she nodded.</p><p>His bed was no longer surrounded in boxes and there were only 3 boxes of items he had decided to keep and they fit in the closet easily. There was some laundry to deal with and he vacuumed the floor where all the boxes had been but it already looked like a perfectly good bedroom.</p><p>“It's gonna feel different not having all those boxes in here,” he noted.</p><p>“I bet it felt kinda safe in there,” she broached.</p><p>“It did, but I need to stop this now. My AA is going so good and I don't need any more issues,” he sighed.</p><p>“This gets much worse if you don't deal with it, but you're getting help early and that's going to make it all so much easier.”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Definitely. I hope we can stay in touch after you're home is decluttered. Ongoing therapy helps this from ever getting out of hand again. Even if we could just meet for coffee occasionally?”</p><p>“I'd like that,” he said. “It's not as hard to talk to you as I expected.”</p><p>“I'm not that scary, am I?” she grinned.</p><p>“I don't talk to women a lot anymore.”</p><p>“How come?”</p><p>“Too chicken to go there after my wife left and divorced me. I'd probably just screw it up again.”</p><p>“I hope when things get sorted around here you'll be able to rethink that. You seem like a very nice guy, it's a shame to see you on your own.”</p><p>“I can actually fit a woman through the door now, so who knows?” he grinned.</p><p>“See? You're funny and everything,” she teased.</p><p>She liked his self-deprecating sense of humor, it was disarming. Merle was fit and handsome and there was no way he'd stay single long once he opened himself up to having a relationship. She could see that he had a good heart, but that he had suffered in his life and it made him afraid to get close to people. Andrea prayed that this case would go smoothly and that Merle would have a second chance with his son and a second chance at a future. He deserved to be sharing his life with a nice woman who could show him he was worth a lot more than he thought. Already she was more invested in this case than any others and it surprised her. Something about him made her let down her guard.</p><p>“I need a break,” he groaned as he wrapped up the cord for the vacuum, “and I'm starving.”</p><p>“Same,” she nodded. “I didn't realize how long we've been here till my stomach growled a few minutes ago.”</p><p>“Am I allowed to buy you dinner?” he asked.</p><p>She just knew that he'd feel more like a man if he was allowed to 'repay' her in some way and that would be a good thing for his self-esteem. He didn't seem to be coming on to her, it seemed friendly enough.</p><p>“If you don't mind...I wouldn't say no to some food right now,” she smiled.</p><p>“Cool,” he said. “Uh...just lemme get cleaned up here and then I'll take ya for the best steak in town.”</p><p>“Sounds perfect. I'll just be downstairs,” she said.</p><p>Andrea needed him to see a world outside of his home and show him that he still had something to offer the opposite sex. A simple thank you dinner was not beyond the realm of professional and she was enjoying his company.</p><p>Merle finally came down the crowded stairway five minutes later in a dress shirt and a fresh pair of jeans and she tried not to find him attractive but it was impossible.</p><p>“I feel a lot better about taking all your help if I can at least offer you a nice meal,” he explained.</p><p>“Not necessary, but I appreciate it. Haven't been out for dinner in a long time actually.”</p><p>“I should have asked if you're married or something,” he said then. “I could have been overstepping this whole thing but I didn't see a ring on your finger.”</p><p>“I'm single,” she smiled. “I'm so busy with work and everything I don't find a lot of time to meet anyone.”</p><p>“You're spending too much time with loonies like me,” he joked.</p><p>“I've had a really nice day with you, Merle, it didn't feel like work at all.”</p><p>“Oh...that's good. I don't want this to be awful for you.”</p><p>“It's not,” she assured him. “I'm enjoying getting to know you.”</p><p>He walked her out to his car and opened the door for her. He did it like it was an everyday thing, not like he was trying to impress her and she liked that. He turned on the radio and looked over at her awkwardly for a moment.</p><p>“This isn't weird, is it? You're not just agreeing to this to be nice?” he asked.</p><p>She had to put him straight because the truth was that she had a hint of excitement inside to be sitting next to him. There was a little thrill when he asked her as well.</p><p>“Merle, I swear to God I'm not just being nice. I really like your company and I'm very much looking forward to this steak,” she grinned.</p><p>“Thank God for that. I don't know how this stuff works and I ain't been able to hold a half-decent conversation with anyone in ages. Guess I'm a little attention-starved so just lemme know if something's not OK.”</p><p>“Don't worry so much. It's all OK,” she said, and then she reached out to touch his arm.</p><p>It was clear that he hadn't been touched in even a completely innocent way in a long time and he flinched when her hand came to rest on his upper arm.</p><p>“This OK?” she asked.</p><p>“Yeah,” he nodded. “Just been living as a hermit for a while now. Not used to it.”</p><p>Andrea squeezed her hand closed on his arm and felt ridiculously strong muscles that made her heart race against her will and then she had to let go. She would have to work to keep it professional now, there was no denying that. He was getting to her and it was something she hadn't encountered on the job before. Merle Dixon was a fine-looking man and she couldn't resist where her mind was going.</p><p>He fired up the engine of his 1970 Dodge Challenger and lay his hand on the back of her seat to back out of the driveway as a CD began to play on the stereo.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Stranded in this spooky town</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Stoplights are swaying and the phone lines are down</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Floor is crackling cold</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>She took my heart, I think she took my soul</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>With the moon I run</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Far from the carnage of the fiery sun</strong>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Driven by the strangle of vein</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Showing no mercy I'd do it again</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Open up your eyes</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>You keep on crying, baby I'll bleed you dry</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Skies are blinking at me</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>I see a storm bubbling up from the sea</strong>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>And it's coming closer</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>And it's coming closer</strong>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The song was slow-paced and sexy as hell. Andrea felt like she was losing control of her mind and as she watched him drive, the sun setting in the sky around them, a mutual feeling between them became impossible to avoid.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <strong>Chapter Four</strong>
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>Andrea couldn't help wondering how it would end up playing out. She didn't want to feel attraction for someone she was working with, but it was clear that she did.</p><p>Merle pulled up outside a rough-looking bar and grill she'd never even heard of. For a second she wondered where on Earth he was taking her when he turned onto the highway heading north out of Alameda. It was dark by the time he opened her car door and she looked up at a neon sign that read Starlight Grill and he assured her the food was worth the out-of-date decor.</p><p>“I trust you,” she grinned.</p><p>“This is the only place I go besides AA,” he chuckled.</p><p>They walked in and a guy behind the bar nodded to him with a big smile.</p><p>“Merle.”</p><p>“Abe.”</p><p>“And who's this?” Abe asked.</p><p>“A friend,” he shrugged. “This is Andrea Harrison.”</p><p>“Nice to meet you, Andrea,” Abe grinned. “Same as usual, Merle?”</p><p>“Do you trust me to order for you?” Merle asked her.</p><p>“Go for it, you clearly know this place.”</p><p>“For two then, Abe. Thanks.”</p><p>Merle walked her to a table in the back as some loud country music played on the stereo system.</p><p>“So, how do you feel after day one?” she smiled.</p><p>“Pretty good. Thought I'd be having a fit about getting rid of Josh's stuff. It was easier than I thought and maybe some other kid can get use out of it.”</p><p>“I'm so glad your brother called when he did, this little issue is in its early stages right now.”</p><p>“It can get pretty bad, huh?”</p><p>“You have no idea. I have had people need their homes condemned and there are places that become infested and need major restoration. Your brother just assumed it was worse than it is. Either way, you'll have your life back to normal within days,” she smiled.</p><p>Abe came by the table with two drinks that looked like Caesars but they couldn't be if he was in AA.</p><p>“Virgin Caesars with pickle,” he explained. “Been drinking these since I got sober. Hope you don't hate Clamato.”</p><p>“I love it, thanks,” she grinned.</p><p>“Please tell me you take your steak at least medium too,” he continued.</p><p>“Medium or medium-rare is perfect for me,” she assured him.</p><p>“You might be the perfect woman.”</p><p>“Well, ain't you a honey tongue?” she teased.</p><p>“My flirting is rusty and I guess I shouldn't really be trying to flirt with you anyway.”</p><p>“I'm not sure if it's against some kind of professional code or not...but I really don't mind you flirting.”</p><p>“You don't?”</p><p>“No, I really don't. I don't want to set you back or mess you up when you're dealing with this issue at home...but I'd be lying if I said I don't find you attractive.”</p><p>“Are you serious?” he asked with a stunned expression.</p><p>“Yeah, is that OK?”</p><p>“Hell yeah, that's OK. It's just hard to believe.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“I'm a recovering alcoholic who lives in a fort made of beer bottles in boxes, and you're...well, look at you!”</p><p>“I just see this whole thing a little differently than you, that's all,” she smiled.</p><p>“How do you see it?”</p><p>“You made it three years without drinking even after losing your family, that's incredible, to be honest. For most people that would send them right over the edge.”</p><p>“I had to quit, even if I lost Josh forever. I needed him to know that I got sober so maybe he wouldn't fall into the same trap I did. I believed that since my dad was a heavy drinker, I was supposed to be as well. I needed Josh to know that he can make his own path, I don't believe in this destiny shit,” Merle explained.</p><p>“Now why wouldn't I be interested in someone like that?” she asked. “Look, I understand if this is a bad time for you or if you're just not into it, but I wanted you to know how I feel anyway.”</p><p>She bit her lip and then Abe came over before Merle could answer and placed food before them.</p><p>“Here we are, two Merle Dixon specials,” he laughed. “Anything else I can get for you two?”</p><p>“No thanks,” she smiled. “This looks delicious.”</p><p>A perfectly cooked medium rare ribeye steak, homemade fries, and slices of tomatoes with basil and olive oil, it looked like the best meal she'd ever seen.</p><p>“Thanks, Abe. Looks great as always,” Merle smiled.</p><p>She watched as Merle picked up his knife and fork and prayed that she wasn't pushing him too much.</p><p>“Andrea,” he began. “I don't really get it...but if you think I could make you happy somehow, then I'm willing to try. I'm still scared as hell that I'll just mess it up, but I doubt I'll ever have a woman as beautiful as you say something like this to me. I'd be a damn fool to not at least try.”</p><p>“I don't want to make anything harder for you and I know this is unprofessional of me, but I just feel a lot for you already and...I can't take my eyes off you.”</p><p>“I've been thinking of touching you since I lay eyes on you, Andrea.”</p><p>“Well...I guess we're on the same page then.”</p><p>“Yeah, I'd say so.”</p><p>“We should eat while this is hot and then...”</p><p>“Then?” he asked.</p><p>“Well, that's up to you.”</p><p>“I don't know if you wanna leave this up to me,” he grinned. “You might not make it home tonight.”</p><p>The air was thick with lust and she knew this was a line she probably shouldn't cross but he looked so good and she couldn't resist him. She would help him with his home and she could always offer therapy help to him even if they were sleeping with each other. Her mind raced to rationalize it all and very soon she just couldn't bother to make more arguments for or against it.</p><p>“You do have a clear path to your room now,” she said.</p><p>“I think I like therapy,” he answered.</p><p>The steak was the most delicious thing she'd ever eaten but it was hard to focus on food with his perfect face in front of her. By the time they finished their dinner, it was much too late to turn back and they both knew it.</p><p>“So, you wanna come over?”' he asked as he opened the passenger door for her.</p><p>“As long as you don't think this will disrupt anything for you...I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.”</p><p>“I think I'm OK. I know that it's something I need to keep talking to you about...I know it has to do with losing my family. How's about this? If it turns out that we don't work together as a couple, I promise I'll get therapy with someone else.”</p><p>“You promise?”</p><p>“You got my word on that. I wanna have my son come stay with me, I have a reason to keep up with this now. You made me want to deal with this the right way.”</p><p>“Alright then,” she said, “So, this is all good, right? I'm not a horrible person?”</p><p>“You ain't nothing but sweetness, Andrea. We aren't doing anything wrong...well, not yet we aren't,” he grinned.</p><p>He was sexy as hell and she decided not to feel bad about it. She was her own boss, it's not like she was going to be fired for slipping up a little. This wasn't a booty call either, she really liked him and he seemed to feel the same.</p><p>Andrea had to let herself go then, even if it was wrong, she needed to go for it while the moment was right.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <strong>Chapter Five</strong>
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>Merle was driving through a dreamland with a woman by his side who blew his mind. She was blue-eyed blonde perfection and for some damn reason, she was willing to come back to his little slice of hell. By the sound of it, she was willing to do more than just chat and he prayed he wouldn't screw it up before he could touch her. He tried to stay focused on the road as he imagined kissing her and it wasn't easy, especially when she slid closer to him and lay her hand on his thigh.</p><p>“This feels kinda naughty,” she said softly and he felt his dick straining already against the fly of his jeans.</p><p>“You're killin' me, honey,” he confessed.</p><p>“I promise this won't hurt a bit," she giggled.</p><p>“I wasn't expecting this kind of treatment but I will take it,” he groaned.</p><p>All of a sudden, her tongue was running from the side of his neck up to his ear and her hot breath was all he could sense.</p><p>“Damn...”</p><p>“I can't help it. You drive me crazy,” she said.</p><p>She was all over him then and it was all he could do to stay between the lines as her devilish hand moved over his dick through his jeans.</p><p>“Oh my God,” she purred. “You have no idea how bad I want you.”</p><p>“Almost as much as I want you? It's been almost five years so don't go expecting too much. I ain't gonna last at this rate,” he warned her.</p><p>“You haven't been with anyone since your wife?” she asked.</p><p>“I had one drunken screw a few months after she left but I hardly remember it,” he frowned, “was up against a brick wall in the alley behind a bar.”</p><p>“Let's make this nice then. It's a sin that nobody has touched you in so long. I want this to be the best you ever had.”</p><p>“Good Lord,” he panted as her hot lips went back to his neck.</p><p>Merle pulled up outside his home, still convinced that he must be dreaming it all when she leaned over to touch his face and kiss him.</p><p>“You ain't real,” he muttered when her lips left his own. “I don't believe this.”</p><p>“Believe it,” she said.</p><p>They couldn't get inside fast enough but then had to step over boxes of beer bottles and junk to get up the stairs to his room. Once there, with only the hallway light on, he took her in his arms and held her close for a moment. She slowed herself down to meet him where he was at and threaded her fingers through his hair as he snuggled his face into her neck to get his bearings.</p><p>Merle wanted to fuck her so bad it hurt and his head was spinning from surprise. He still couldn't believe she wanted him, even after knowing how deeply flawed he was.</p><p>Eventually, he backed her to a wall and his hands moved down to her waist and then her hips. She seemed eager to get his clothes off and soon she was working on the buttons of the shirt he had chosen to look nice for her. She began kissing down his chest and he watched in silent amazement as she got closer and closer to his belt with her tongue.</p><p>“Jesus,” he moaned, laying his hand on her shoulder to maintain contact.</p><p>Her warm hands on the bare skin of his waist were almost enough to get him off but then she dialed it up by pulling off her shirt before him.</p><p>“You still OK?” she asked.</p><p>This is where he needed to get his shit together, he needed to show her he had what it took to please her. He had to snap out of his disbelief.</p><p>“Yeah, I'm good,” he said. “Just had to get a grip there.”</p><p>Merle walked her back to his bed and loved that there was nothing in the way now, his bed was made and he was about to lay a beautiful woman down on it. He climbed over her, ready to take a more dominant position. He could feel it that she wanted him to seize the moment. He could see it in her eyes as she looked up at him. He was welcomed between her thighs. Resisting the urge to thrust against her was futile, so he didn't even bother.</p><p>Her feet came to rest on his lower back and he thought about how good it was going to feel to sink his dick deep inside her.</p><p>Andrea reached down then, down between their bodies to unzip his jeans and push her hand inside to grasp hold of him. Her hot little hand-controlled his entire universe then and he was happy to hand himself over to her.</p><p>Soon she had him flat on his back and was yanking his jeans and underwear off to attack him and he felt wanted and needed like never before. His own wife wasn't this into him on their wedding night.</p><p>Andrea stood up then, with the light from the hallway allowing him to see her body in a soft half-lit glow, and stripped down to nothing at all.</p><p>“You're beautiful, Andrea. I feel so damn lucky right now,” he said honestly.</p><p>“I feel lucky too,” she said as she came down over him and straddled his thighs.</p><p>She moved her womanhood over his hard dick over and over until he thought he'd go blind and he reached up to touch her breasts, urging them to his mouth to lick and taste her perfect skin. He didn't know if she was on anything for birth control or if she wanted him to wear a condom but he didn't have any in the house since he never needed them.</p><p>“I don't have any protection. Do you?” he asked when he felt his dick slip inside her just a little.</p><p>“You clean?” she asked.</p><p>“Oh yeah, it's been years and my wife didn't have anything.”</p><p>“I'm clean too. Do you trust me? Sadly, I don't have any condoms but I am on the pill.”</p><p>“I trust you.”</p><p>“Been single for two years and I had a physical 6 months ago that came out just fine.”</p><p>The idea of being inside her without a condom was exciting. He wanted to feel every inch of her body.</p><p>“I ain't worried. Just, please...I can't take this much longer,” he begged.</p><p>“Alright then,” she grinned. “Hold onto your hat, honey.”</p><p>She sank herself down slowly then, taking his cock deep inside her, and then she moved slow and sultry on him. He filled her and then was released halfway before filling her once again. Her body was like a tight-fitting glove and he ached to come the moment he was inside her.</p><p>He pulled her down to kiss him and felt a little panic that it wouldn't last, that somehow he could be having this beautiful experience, and then it would be over. She didn't seem like the type to just walk away from him now but if she did, he'd be broken.</p><p>“I want you, Andrea...I want you to stay,” he said between kisses and he didn't even care if it was too much.</p><p>He had to lay his cards on the table and just hope she felt the same.</p><p>“I'm here,” she panted with her eyes closed and her hand planted on his chest as she rode him. “I'm not going anywhere.”</p><p>Looking up at her as she fulfilled her needs with his manhood was one of life's great surprises. So many nights alone, telling himself that this kind of thing was over for him was now melting away in the sweetest pleasure of his life. There was a lot he still wanted to make right, so many wrongs to make up for, but in that moment, he felt almost loved.</p><p>“How did I manage to catch an angel?” he asked and as cheesy as it probably sounded, he was genuinely curious.</p><p>She didn't answer, she just kept it up and then came down close to kiss him again. In time, he needed her beneath him and reversed their positions to take her while the taking was good. He reclaimed his manhood then, driving his cock deep into her, leaving her breathless and weak as she whined for more.</p><p>The best orgasm in the universe rose up deep within him and he needed her to come along for the trip. He teased her with his fingers as he fucked her and could sense that she was close too. One finger on either side of her swollen clit, gently urging her there was all it took and she kept him informed so they could get there together.</p><p>“You good?” he pleaded.</p><p>“Almost...just another few seconds. Oh my God, that's...OK...alright. Go for it.”</p><p>He let it rip then as her pussy unleashed sweet rhythmic pulsations that drained him in every way as he collapsed on her.</p><p>/</p><p>Andrea awoke to the sound of water running in the kitchen downstairs and wondered why he wasn't next to her. She heard music playing and recognized it as Hozier. The man had good taste in music and that was always a bonus.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>When I first saw you, the end was soon</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>To Bethlehem, it slouched and then</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Must've caught a good look at you</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Give your heart and soul to charity</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>'Cause the rest of you, the best of you</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Honey, belongs to me</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Ain't it a gentle sound, the rollin' in the graves?</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Ain't it like thunder under earth, the sound it makes?</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Ain't it exciting you, the rumble where you lay?</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Ain't you my baby?</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Ain't you my baby?</strong>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Nothin' fucks with my baby</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Nothin' can get a look in on my baby</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Nothin' fucks with my baby</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Nothin', nothin', nothin', nothin'</strong>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>She got out of bed, located one of his t-shirts to wear, and crept down to the main level to see what he was up to. The stairs were already cleared of boxes and she looked around for him when she reached the bottom.</p><p>“Merle?”</p><p>“Hey, honey, Did I wake you? Sorry.”</p><p>“It's all good...what are you up to?”</p><p>He stopped before her and lay his big hands on her shoulders for a moment.</p><p>“I really want you to know I'm serious about getting better. I want to clean this all up as soon as I can.”</p><p>“I know you're taking it seriously, Merle,” she smiled. “Come back to bed and cuddle for a bit. I'll help get this cleaned up today and maybe we'll have time to take some bottles to the range before dark.”</p><p>“That does sound pretty fun, Been years since I went shooting.”</p><p>“Merle...you don't have to worry about anything. I'm not looking for a reason to leave.”</p><p>“That's good. I guess I am a little paranoid.”</p><p>There was something Andrea desperately wanted to know about the bottles he kept but she didn't want to trigger anything in such a nice moment. Apparently, he could tell she was wondering something though.</p><p>“What's up?” he pressed.</p><p>“Can I ask you something about your bottles?”</p><p>“Ask me anything,” he nodded with a smile.</p><p>“They are all the same brand...and none of them are old.”</p><p>“Uh huh.”</p><p>“It's not a collection, is it?”</p><p>“Nope.”</p><p>“Why did you keep them all?”</p><p>“Alcohol is why I lost everything. I kept them here as punishment...so I'd have to remember what I did every day.”</p><p>“Are you serious?”</p><p>“I lost my boy over the beer in these bottles. I didn't feel like I deserved to get rid of them.”</p><p>“Merle...you deserve to never look at these damned bottles again,” she stated clearly. “I'm getting dressed and we are getting them all out of here. Now.”</p><p>“No cuddles then?” he asked.</p><p>“We'll cuddle so much you'll get sick of it, I swear, but this needs to happen now.”</p><p>Andrea ran up to the bedroom and got dressed and then she was on the move. She called up one of the regular trash guys she had to help her with huge home cleanups and she was loading boxes onto the street a moment later. Merle started moving boxes as well but she could tell he was taken aback by her frustration. Still, she kept moving boxes one by one until they were all on the lawn awaiting pick up, all except a few boxes she put in the back of her van. By the time she walked back into his home, she had worked up a sweat and he looked at her in stunned silence.</p><p>“Why did you need to do that now?” he asked.</p><p>“I know we just met, I know I was supposed to be your therapist and not a woman you're sleeping with...but the thought of you making yourself look at these every single day breaks my heart, Merle. You don't deserve that.”</p><p>“I thought I did, for a long time. I think that's why I kept Josh's things too. I didn't think I deserved to stop thinking about him and what I did wrong, even for a minute.”</p><p>“Merle...you need to forgive yourself for the past. I won't let you live in a mountain of regret anymore.”</p><p>“Where did you come from, honey?”</p><p>She smiled up at him and kissed him once.</p><p>“Let's get some breakfast and pick up some firearms from my place. We're gonna light up the past and blow it all away.”</p><p>He grinned and that was that. Merle was on a path to redemption then.</p><p>
  <em>Within the next year, he managed to get better visitation with his son for holidays and the odd weekend here and there. His ex-wife could see a positive change in him and his brother was incredibly proud. Merle and Andrea were inseparable from that first day onward and she refused to question it, on paper, it made no sense and maybe even looked bad. She couldn't regret it though, sometimes it's just right and you know it. Merle Dixon was the man for her, he wasn't perfect but nobody else could make her feel the way he did.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>~ The End</strong>
</p><p> </p>
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